


Wait and Hope

by BrightTerror



Series: BrightTerror's 2020 Whumptober [22]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Concussions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Fluff, Garcia is amazing and she must be protected, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, I cannot stress this enough, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, It doesnt seem happy at first but it will end well, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Really Character Death, Rossi and Hotch are Reids parental figures, Team as Family, it just SEEMS like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27304390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightTerror/pseuds/BrightTerror
Summary: Whumptober Day 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE (Left for Dead)"Did you get any sleep?”“Dave, look into my eyes and ask that again.” Hotch glared but his glare fell short. He had bags under his eyes, and he was currently holding a venti shot Garcia got him from Starbucks earlier, filled with espressos."Time is of essence when the team has to find Reid after he was kidnapped, the odds aren't great and every minute that passes the chances of finding him alive decrease. What happens when time runs out?
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss & Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia & Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & David Rossi
Series: BrightTerror's 2020 Whumptober [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948378
Comments: 12
Kudos: 194
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Wait and Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Vague references (spoilers) for s2ep15 "Revelations" s5ep9 "100" and s6ep18 "Lauren"  
> This isn't beta read, sorry for any typos or mistakes.
> 
> Also, Happy Halloween!!!

Morgan, Hotch, JJ and Emily had been at the station all day, working on their latest profile and asking some questions to the parents of the latest victim that they found 4 days ago. Rossi and Reid had finished talking to a couple of possible witnesses. Afterwards, they stopped by a coffee shop to get food and drinks for everyone before getting back to work. 

That was 5 hours ago, and they still hadn’t returned. 

The rest of the team knew something was wrong after an hour passed since they talked to Rossi, one hour without any sign from either of them. They asked Garcia to track their phones, which were surprisingly, still turned on at the coffee shop. 

JJ and Morgan went to check the coffee shop, to make sure they were there and fine but were proven wrong when they arrived and found both Rossi’s and Reid’s phones in the trash. Neither them nor their car was nowhere to be seen. 

They spent the next 4 hours splitting their time between working their current case and finding out where their two agents disappeared to. 

Garcia was currently checking all the security footage near the coffee shop when her phone rang. “Hello?” She usually answered with a witty comment, but the phone was from a pay phone and rarely anyone knew this number. 

“Garcia?”

“Oh my god, Rossi?” Garcia recognised his voice immediately, but something was wrong. He sounded distant and disorientated. “Where are you? Are you both okay?”

“I don’t know…” he mumbled. “I don’t know where we are.”

“I’m tracing your call, don’t hang up.” She typed some more and got an exact location. “I’m telling Hotch and the others, help is on the way.”

______

“Drive faster.” Emily all but shouted. She was in the backseat with JJ, Hotch in the passenger seat and Morgan driving. 

It was an understatement to say Morgan was driving fast. He had his sirens on and was stepping on the accelerator more times than not. “If I could drive faster, believe me, I  _ would _ .” Morgan said. 

“We need to be able to get there in one piece. We won't be able to help Rossi or Reid if Morgan crashes the car. He should be driving slower if anything.” JJ complained. She was holding onto her seatbelt and onto the car. Between the sudden motions of the car and her growing worry for her two missing family members, she was not feeling too well. 

“All of you need to  _ calm  _ down.” Hotch interrupted. All of them leaned sideways as the car took a rough turn. “Morgan is in charge of driving because he can get us to them quicker. He knows what he is doing. Now relax. Call Garcia, see if she has any updates, or if Rossi has called again.” He needed to keep his team entertained with something to do until they got there, it wouldn’t do any good if they were all jittery. 

Rossi’s call had originated from a pay phone near an abandoned gas station about forty miles away. They didn’t know any more details than that. But as soon as they arrived, they saw the silhouette of a man—Rossi— slumped against said pay phone. 

Getting off the car, Hotch and JJ holstered their weapons while Morgan and Emily kept their guns ready in case they ran into any trouble. Rossi was half conscious, but still awake enough to be aware someone was there. 

“Wha’” Rossi tried to say but the words didn’t quite come out right. Hotch saw he had an awful gash on his forehead, bloody all around it but thankfully the bleeding seemed to have stopped a while ago. 

“Dave, it’s okay. We’re here. We’re going to get you some help.” Hotch reassured him. 

“Reid.” Rossi looked panicked. “Where is the kid? Where is he?” He tried to fully open his eyes and stand up but failed. 

“The others are looking for him, they are scouting the building. My guess is you woke up inside and found the nearest way of communication, he might still be inside here somewhere.” Hotch hoped to whatever entities in the universe were listening that he was right. He wasn’t much of a believer, but he needed to be right, Reid had to be here somewhere, he  _ had _ to be okay. 

Hotch helped Rossi inside the car and handed him his suit jacket. “Here, put pressure on your head. I’ll be right back.” He got his gun and went to look out for the rest of his team. When they eventually find Reid, they might need help carrying him if he was hurt. 

Morgan, Emily and JJ came out of the building, Hotch did not have to be a profiler to see the concern and fear on their faces. “Hotch, Reid isn’t here. It appears like he was taken.”

______

They took Rossi to the hospital and after getting four stitches on his face, and rested enough to be less disorientated, he explained everything that happened that day to the team so they could gather any evidence as to where Reid was now. 

Apparently, after they stopped for coffee, a man approached them while they were getting back inside the car. He blitz attacked them, thwacking Reid on the head with the butt of a gun then grabbed him in a headlock, using him as a shield so that Rossi couldn’t take a shot. The unsub made Rossi get inside the car and follow his instructions or he would blow Reid’s head off. He had no choice but to follow the man. 

Once he got into the car he tried to stay calm and talk his way out of it but the man was able to blitz attack him again during a red light and the next thing he knew, he woke up in the abandoned gas station, stumbling to look for a phone and calling out for Reid. 

It didn’t take them long to connect the man to the unsub of their latest case. If he was the same man, time was of essence to find Reid. 

The case they had been working on involved an unsub in his mid-forties, white male, who had a ritualistic killing on a strict pattern of a new victim every four days. It didn’t matter what happened or how he abducted the victim, exactly every four days, he would dump his past victim and kidnap another. 

Which meant they had about 3 days to find Reid alive. 

Another problem was his MO. It was inconsistent in every way possible: one victim ended up with water in their lungs from drowning while the next died from severe third-degree burns. Others were strung, others were tortured, and others were shot in their head executioner style. The unsub changed his MO  _ every  _ killing so there was no telling what fate Reid was going to be expecting if the team was too late. 

The only reason they could connect his crimes was his signature and dumping grounds. He leaves a rose painted in fluorescent red paint on top of the bodies when he dumps them. And every time, the bodies are found along a different hiker’s trail in the same national park. 

Unlucky for them, the area of the park is immense so even with the cops and rangers of the area they can’t cover the entire grounds. They put lookouts at night and are exhausting police resources, but bodies continued to show up there. 

The same day Reid was taken, a body showed up of a different victim. Time was ticking and the odds were against them. 

________

Reid couldn’t see anything due to the smelly piece of cloth that had him blindfolded. Luckily, he was chained to what seemed a wall while he was sitting on the floor, instead of being tied to a chair again, he hated when his kidnappers reminded him of Hankel. So, for now, he was able to keep himself relatively calm. 

The floor was cold and moist, he could hear the wind howling outside from wherever he was currently trapped in and the tree branches hitting against it. He tried to listen for any signs of the city, but he couldn’t even hear sirens or car horns from afar. Meaning wherever he was, it was a long way from civilisation.

Rossi had been there with him last time he was awake.  _ Where was he now? _ He couldn’t hear any noise that indicated another person in the room. He wished he could see right now. His best shot was to call out for him, maybe Rossi was there with him and just hadn’t woke up yet, if he woke him up, they could plan an escape together. Two heads always think better than one, or at least that’s how the saying went. 

“Rossi?” He whispered. He didn’t want to attract unwanted attention from whoever their capture was. No answer came. He tried again, slightly louder. “Rossi? Are you here?” He needed to make sure he was okay. He couldn’t live with himself if something happened to him. He was like a father to him, except better because he never abandoned him like the rest. 

“Rossi?” He yelled. He needed to find him. They needed to get out of there. “Rossi?” He tried again. 

He was met with eerie silence and a howl of the wind. The realisation sunk in that he was all alone, no one there but himself. 

He stayed there—not like he had another choice—controlling his breathing and planning a way out until a door opened and the wooden floorboards creaked. Someone was coming and judging by the sound of the footsteps it wasn’t anyone he knew. He had every footstep pattern of his family memorised; Morgan would often tease him how he always knew who walked in while he was immersed in his book just because of how they walked. 

How he wished to relieve those memories full of safety and happiness, but he couldn’t. Now he had to face the horrifying reality of being chained up and all alone with a possible serial killer. 

The footsteps grew louder as they neared him until Reid felt the presence of someone in the room standing in front of him. He gulped and prepared for whatever hell he most surely would be met with. 

________

“I’m sure you’ve wondered, all this time, why do I kill every person differently.” The man whispered in Reid’s ear. “Today, you're going to find out.” He smiled wickedly. 

Reid glared at the man and tried to keep his brave face on, but the truth was he was crumpling inside, and he wasn’t sure he could take on the torture for much longer. 

“You see, I always choose how the people die  _ after _ I get to know them. You could say I fit their deaths to their personalities.” He laughed. “ People who are afraid of water, I burn them, people who don’t fear fire and even have a glint in their eyes that they enjoy the burn, those I drown. To show them that they should be afraid of the things that they are  _ not _ . It’s really interesting how many people hate the opposite of what they don’t fear.” He monologued and paced around the room. “You know the whole fire beats water and water beats fire and all that mumbo jumbo.” He sighed. “Usually the people I kill are boring, they have the same unoriginal fears. But  _ you,  _ my sweet, dear fed, you are an  _ interesting  _ one.” 

Reid suppressed a full body shudder and soldiered on. “Yeah? So, you’ve decided how I’m going to die?”

“Indeed.” He smiled. “You see, feds are usually boring, but these last 4 days, I’ve gotten to know you. The real you. I even saw your trick up your sleeve. What you’re not afraid of… and that’s exactly how you’re going to go from this world.”

Reid frowned and his heart started beating rapidly against his chest. He didn’t understand where this was going and he was done with withstanding torture. However this psychopath planned for him to go, he just hoped it was fast. 

The man grabbed something from his backpack and took out the thing he was going to kill him with, Reid broke down and he yelled in anguish. “No,  _ no _ , no please  _ anything  _ but that.” He pleaded. “ _ Please _ , don’t.” He sobbed. 

———

“Dave, you’re still concussed. It has been less than a day since you got hit.” Hotch tried to reason with him once he found the older man at the station, ready for work. 

“Save it, Aaron. Damn my concussion, you need all hands-on deck in this case. The stakes are high and I’m  _ not _ losing the kid because of a stupid concussion. I’m  _ going  _ to help and the only way you’re stopping me is forcefully knocking me down.” Rossi stared him down, even with a bandage on his forehead, he looked intimidating. 

“You’re right.” Hotch gave him a curt nod. “Having a full team is the best chance Reid has. Garcia will fill you in on what we found last night, and I’ll get the others to the conference room where we have the evidence board.”

“Last night? Did you get any sleep?”

“Dave, look into my eyes and ask that again.” Hotch glared but his glare fell short. He had bags under his eyes, and he was currently holding a venti shot Garcia got him from Starbucks earlier, filled with espressos. 

“I’m worried about him too but running on fumes won't do him any good. We have less than 3 days, I know time is running low, but you need to sleep at least an hour every once in a while.” Rossi told him before walking towards Garcia’s makeshift desk with three computers on it. 

As soon as Reid disappeared, she had taken the first flight there. She could help from there and needed to be with her team. 

“Alright. Tell me what you have so far.” Rossi asked Garcia, picking up the evidence folder and looking through it. 

_____

“This is  _ useless.” _ JJ brought her hands to her face and let out a desperate groan. “He has been gone for  _ three  _ days and we can’t find him. We can’t even do our jobs well and find a goddamn unsub. What’s wrong with us? We have done way more, way less. Why can’t we find him?” JJ had lost her calm after another lead came up empty and their list of possible unsubs wasn’t narrowing down. 

“JJ, I need you to calm down. I know this has become a personal case for us but if we want to be working it and find him, we need to calm down. Last thing we need is to get kicked out of this case because emotions got in the way. Believe me, I want to find him as much as you do.” Hotch said. He knew he was harsh on her, he understood where she was coming from though. Everyone was on edge and he was too close to losing it but they had to keep it together, for Reid’s sake. 

She nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. It's just... last time he was taken I was with him… and I can’t do that again.” She mumbled. She went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face, she was running on fumes, as did the rest of the team, since neither of them had slept more than an hour or two the last 3 days. She came back, her stoic face on and began working like the badass agent she was. 

______

“I hate to be the one to say it…” Rossi pursed his lips and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about it, but he was a realist and things were  _ not  _ looking good. 

“Then save it.” Morgan snapped. He knew what he was going to say but he didn’t want to believe it. 

“Rossi, we still have the rest of the day. And maybe Reid stalled him.” Emily began picking at the skin around her nails. 

“Reid knows better than to get himself killed. We are so close to nailing the bastard.” Hotch gritted his teeth. Everyone knew when he cursed, things were serious. “He needs to hold on a bit longer. He isn’t dead.” 

“It's been four days.” Rossi said slowly, as if he was talking to a victim’s family. Which in a way, he was. “There’s two options here,  _ uno,  _ the unsub broke pattern from his very strict routine which he has followed for the past seven months, a kill every four days. Or option deux, the unsub followed his pattern and we just haven’t found the body yet. I hate to say it but option two is more likely, based on victimology and his profile.”

He wished with everything he believed in, that he was wrong. He wasn’t about to give up on his kid, but he had to look at things objectively. They were still working a case after all, and not all cases ended well. Especially when they involved the team. He wanted to believe Reid was still out there, but their time had run out and they hadn’t found any evidence that Reid wasn’t dead. “We base our profile on facts. And there is no evidence he is alive.” 

“There’s no evidence he is dead.” JJ said in total determination. 

Rossi had to admit, that was true. If they still had hope to keep then he had to admire it. Hope was a powerful motivator and he sure as hell didn’t have it anymore. “Let’s keep looking for him.”

_______

“What do you mean you don’t know? It's a missing person, I thought you could work your magic here.” Morgan frowned and tried to keep his anger from showing in his voice. He was angry that Reid hadn’t been found yet but that was no reason Garcia had to deal with his misplaced anger. “We have to know if the unsub took anyone else two days ago. If he is sticking to his pattern, he takes a person every 4 days. Reid has been gone for 6 so there has to be something.”

“The amount of people going missing from around here is insane. I can see why he picked this town. There’s too many people missing to get an accurate answer.” Garcia said frantically as she typed with the speed of god on her computer. 

“Baby girl, we need to find something. It's like finding a needle in a haystack, I know, but you’re outstanding and can find him, I know that much.” Morgan tried to cheer her up. But he couldn’t portray his usual charisma. He was worried and tired and all he wanted was his brother back. 

“I’ll run the system again, double check.” Garcia took a shot of coffee as if it was a shot of vodka and began typing. 

Rossi was talking to the locals and running every possible lead they could come up with. He wanted to find Reid. He  _ needed _ to find him, and he wouldn’t stop until Reid was back with them, even if it was only his corpse that was back. He prayed that Reid somehow beats all the odds and he lives but he has to look at things realistically. 

Facts are, Reid has been gone 6 days, past evidence from previous victims point to him being possibly dead as of two days ago. No leads on the unsub because he’s covering his tracks all too well. However, no body has been found and usually every 4 days  _ exactly _ , a new body shows up. But not  _ him _ . Things weren’t adding up. 

He got back to the station and found both Hotch and JJ collapsed on the precinct's couch, sleeping. JJ had her head on Hotch’s shoulder and a stack of files on her hands while Hotch was holding his own stack of files in his crossed arms while resting his head on JJ’s head. Exhaustion got the better of them and they couldn’t stay awake any longer. Rossi closed the door quietly and left them rest. They sure as hell needed it. 

Rossi ordered some healthy take-out food so they could eat once they woke up. He didn’t think any of them had had a proper meal in a week. He understood why, but it still wasn’t healthy. 

He was bringing some food to Emily, when he saw her hunched over her desk, hiding his head in her hands and tugging her head. “Emily? How are you holding up?” he asked softly. 

“Tomorrow is his birthday…” she sniffed, still hiding her head in her hands. “I just received an email to confirm the ticket I got him seven months ago to watch an old classic, Halloween themed Russian film he had been rambling about so much… I was supposed to go with him… it was going to be a surprise…” she rubbed her eyes and blinked away tears. 

Only then did Rossi realize the date, October 27… they had been raving about Halloween and birthday plans with Reid only two weeks ago when everything was still fine. But ever since the kid’s disappearance, he completely forgot about the date. 

He shut his thoughts away when his brain kept supplying him with horrible thoughts that his kid might not be alive for his next birthday. 

Emily looked up from her hands and stared at him. “He’s gone, isn’t he?” She whispered. 

_ Most likely. _ Rossi’s logical part of his brain thought. But that would be a stupid response to say. He couldn’t say anything for sure and there was still a chance,  _ maybe _ , that he was alive. “We don’t know that for sure. It’s Reid… if someone could make it out alive it's  _ him _ , right?” Rossi said instead. He needed to preserve the hope his team had so that he himself could have a glimmer of hope on finding their kid. 

“I hate that I’m giving up, but… when have we had any good luck when it comes to the job?” Emily looked at Rossi with desperation. She needed her family to be safe, but it never seemed to work out. “I’m not going to stop looking for him, or whatever is left of him… but I hate feeling this powerless, unable to help.” 

Rossi put the bag with food aside and opened his arms. Emily took the invitation and let herself be hugged. She could compartmentalise well, she learned to after dealing with Doyle for all those years, after watching partners of her getting killed on the job, she could deal with it herself if she needed to. But Rossi was offering her some comfort which she rarely, in all her life, got. So, she wasn’t going to waste it. 

Working for Interpol she learned a couple of things. She learned what it was like losing people she loved. She learned that life was more unfair than it seemed. She learned that nothing ever lasts forever and most importantly she knew better than to hope for a happy ending. After all, when has she ever got one? 

Every time she thinks she has finally found her place of happiness, it gets taken away. Like when Doyle came back, how she had to fake her death. Now that she feels comfortable back with her makeshift family, someone else gets taken away. It wasn’t fair. 

____

“You're sure we will catch him like that?” Hotch asked Garcia while adjusting his FBI vest. It was day eight after Reid was taken, and according to the unsub’s past behaviour, he was going to dump a new body today.

“100% mon sir. He always dumps the bodies in this track of the path. The pattern is barely visible because of the area being so big, but after hacking into some satellites and other stuff you better not ask about, I found his route and if he sticks to it the body he will dump today will either be here or here.” She pointed to two remote locations on a map. “It’s still hella early so if we put hidden park rangers in those areas or you guys hide near there you should be able to catch him red handed.” Garcia explained. 

“Garcia, I love you.” Hotch said in the proudest dad-like voice. 

“Thanks Monsieur.” Garcia grinned and looked at Morgan and Emily. “But without these two I would not have been able to crack it.”

“Let’s get this son of a bitch then.”

Their plan worked, for once, and they actually managed to catch the unsub as he was dumping the body. Thankfully, said body was not one belonging to a Spencer Reid, but to someone else. His whereabouts were still unknown which meant there was still hope he was alive somehow. 

The complicated part, however, was the interrogation. They had to keep their cool and be professional to get a confession out of him, hopefully on tape, to get him locked up even longer. 

Hotch decided to let Rossi handle the interrogation After all, Rossi had written published books on the subject and his techniques were sometimes studied at Quantico. It was his best bet to keep the man talking. 

The unsub ended up being a man called Paul Johnson. He didn’t have anything interesting about him, he was just a guy who worked at a shop and so happened to be a sadist and a psychopath. 

Rossi walked inside the interrogation room and sat down in front of Paul. The rest of his team was looking through the one-way glass. 

He spent about three hours interrogating him until the man in question finally cracked and confessed. He confessed to  _ everything.  _ A part of everyone on the team had the selfish wish that they never had the misfortune of hearing what he had said. Didn’t matter what they wished for, they still heard it and were cursed by the knowledge of all the man’s actions and undoing’s. 

“Yeah, I killed all of them, and  _ so many _ more.” Paul grinned wickedly. “You should have seen the hope in their eyes go out the second they realised their fate was sealed. All these people, all these supposedly fearless people, trembling in fear at their inevitable doom. What a nice thing isn’t it? The finality of death. It's the one thing we can count on happening. Everything else is a game of a chance. No matter what we do. We end up in the same way. Dead.” Paul leaned back on his chair and admired the look of disgust Rossi was giving him now. 

“I’ve accepted it long gone, and after today it seems my time has run out. But I’m not afraid of dying, not afraid to go,” Paul paused and looked at the mirror that was obviously where the rest of the agents were listening in. “unlike that little agent of yours. Oh, how he was trembling in fear. Spending his last moments alive in shock, muttering how he wasn’t a sinner, and he wasn’t lying. Half the things he said didn’t make any sense.” He laughed. He outright  _ laughed.  _

That’s when Hotch could not hold it any longer and he entered the interrogation room, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him back with force. “W _ hat  _ did  _ you do  _ to  _ him _ ?!” He yelled. All the pent-up anger and worry he had been harbouring for the past 8 days, it all came out at once and he was fuming. 

Rossi unconsciously leaned away from Hotch for a second when he snapped before getting a hold of himself and restraining him back. “Aaron,” he said as both a warning and a comfort. 

Hotch let go of Paul and took a step back, still looking as intimidating as he walked in and death glaring at him. 

Rossi continued his interrogation as best as he could. “Answer his question.” He cleared his throat. “What did you do to him?” 

“Isn’t it obvious? I thought the feds were smarter than this.” He cackled. “I killed him.” 

Hotch gripped his hand against the table until his knuckles turned white. “How did you kill him?” It felt  _ wrong _ to even ask that. He  _ should not  _ have to ask that. Reid was supposed to be alive with them, not decomposing somewhere all alone in the middle of nowhere. 

“Overdose.” He replied. 

Hotch’s heart missed a beat and he could metaphorically feel his heart dropping to his stomach. “ _ What.” _

“You see, when I take people, I look for their weaknesses, and then their strengths, what they fear and what they  _ don't _ .” he paused, “It would be too easy to kill them with what they are most afraid of. So, I look for signs of things they did that proves what they  _ don’t _ fear.” He explained. “And Spencer, mhmm, he was an interesting one. Feds are usually all the same, yet he was different. His behaviour showed fearlessness since he woke up. First thing he did was call out for you, agent  _ Rossi _ . He was more worried about your whereabouts than his  _ own  _ life. That’s when I knew it was going to be fun.” He raised an eyebrow and smiled. 

Rossi felt bile threatening to come up from his stomach, but he kept himself from throwing up. The man was talking, and he couldn’t risk throwing up now. “What did you  _ do? _ ”

“I’ve never gotten an addict Fed.” He paused. “I saw his marks on his forearm. They looked faded, but they showed his history plain as day. Those marks let me know how someone who would do that to themselves had no fear of their effects. Spencer is a man who wanted to let go, but not permanently, just used the drugs as a temporary escape…” he trailed off. 

_ You’re wrong. You’re so, so wrong on so many levels.  _ Hotch wanted to scream, he couldn’t say anything while he was monologuing, or he risked he stopped talking. But he felt absolutely disgusted. Paul had  _ no  _ idea what Reid went through to get those marks on him, and he was stereotyping people based on his beliefs. He never felt the need to beat someone to death ever since the Reaper. 

“So, I showed him that his temporary escape from reality could be quite  _ permanent _ . He put on a fight but went quickly after the second shot. They  _ all  _ do.”

Neither Hotch nor Rossi stopped Morgan from punching the guy afterwards. 

________

They found a body on day ten after Reid’s disappearance. 

After the terrible interrogation with Paul two days ago, the team had begrudgingly stopped looking for Reid in places where the unsub could be keeping him alive and changed the victimology profile to look for places where he might have dumped Reid’s body. 

They didn’t want to believe it. No one did. But they had confirmation from the killer himself that he had killed Reid… they had to sit there and keep their emotions in check as they heard how their youngest agent and family member lost his life with nothing they could do about it now. 

Morgan and JJ were both in deep denial. They kept lashing out every time anyone else on the team referred to Reid in past tense. Garcia couldn’t believe her residential genius was gone until she witnessed the footage of the interview herself. She couldn't stop herself from crying most of the time from then on. 

Instead of giving up, however, it was as if she suddenly had all the energy she needed, despite not sleeping much in ten days, and began using her Garcia skills to find possible locations to where he could be. 

Hotch admired her for it. Moments like that convinced her that she was the strongest one of them all. She had the brightest soul out of all of them despite the horrors of the world she saw daily, she kept going and kept having hope when the rest could not. 

Hotch had silently accepted (not really accepted it. How the hell could he ever accept the death of one of his kids?) Reid was gone. All evidence pointed to them finding his corpse if they ever even found him. He hadn’t felt this hollow inside since Foyet. Yet he kept going, while he worked, he kept it together for his team’s sake. He kept it together for Reid. 

He owed the kid to at least find his body. So, he wouldn’t stop until he did. Besides, there was something inside his brain telling him that if there was no body, there was still hope. He would never truly believe his kid was gone unless he saw the undisputed evidence of his death with his own eyes. Turns out he was going to find that evidence sooner rather than later.

Hotch wanted to break down right then and there, he felt like he had let Reid down. It was his fault… if only they had been faster… he was the unit chief, goddammit. He should have made everything possible to find him before he… 

He wanted to break down, but he didn’t. Not yet. His team didn’t deserve to have to deal with his broken self. 

So, he kept his expressionless face on as a mask and went with what was left of his team to scout the park areas where Garcia told them Reid might be. 

Currently, he was walking around with his team in the forest where Paul’s dumping ground was, along with a couple of sheriffs and park rangers. 

His heart stopped when a cop informed them through their radios. “We’ve found a body.” They gave the coordinates. Hotch and Rossi, who were teaming up scouting, sprinted to where the body was. Hotch knew the others heard it too and were on their way from wherever they were in the forest trail. 

As he approached the place, he could see a few cops crowding the area, putting the yellow tape around to indicate it was a crime scene. Hotch spotted the body lying on the ground and his worst fears were confirmed when he was close enough to see his face. 

_ No.  _

_ God please no. Not again _ . 

Hotch fell onto his knees in front of Reid’s body. He looked so small and fragile, and lifeless. He was pale, his lips were tinted blue, his eyes were closed and were dark around it. There were scratches on his head and arms that had stopped bleeding long ago. 

He looked deadly pale but if any of them had been in their right headspace they would have noticed he  _ didn’t _ look like a decomposed body that had been in the wild for 6 days. 

He heard Rossi let out a long string of curses when he saw the body. Hotch knew Rossi was behind him but his voice felt distant. All he could focus on now was Reid in front of him… 

He didn’t notice JJ, nor Emily nor Morgan arrive at the scene. He didn't hear JJ’s piercing scream and Emily holding her back from collapsing on the ground. He wasn’t aware when Morgan broke down and Rossi engulfed him in a hug and held onto him tight as he himself shed a few silent tears. 

He didn't notice any of it, he was lost in his thoughts and the disturbing image in front of him. It reminded him too much of when he saw Haley’s body. Someone who had been so full of life and energy was now cold and lifeless,  _ gone _ . 

Hotch broke down right then and there. He picked Reid up and was clutching onto him, engulfing him in his arms. A parent should never have to bury their child, Hotch felt a raw pain in his soul as he let out a sob and held onto Reid tighter. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He thought repeatedly. 

Then his brain decided to do some useful synapses and his conscious brain finally caught up to the evidence that was there all along. 

Evidence A: Reid’s skin was cold, sure. But he wasn't corpse-level cold. 

Evidence B: there was a slight wheezing sound near his ear where Reid’s face laid on his shoulder. It was faint. But it was wheezing, almost like really quiet breathing. 

Evidence C: Why did he feel a pulse on his neck where he had his hand to hold him. 

Hotch blinked away tears and looked at Reid.  _ Was his brain playing tricks on him? _ He put his ear right on his chest and there it was, a heartbeat. An actual heartbeat. 

Reid was  _ alive.  _

“He is breathing. He is alive. Someone call an ambulance. A helicopter. Anything.” Hotch looked up to yell at the people around him. 

Rossi stared at him and couldn’t believe what he heard. Next thing he knew he was next to Hotch on the ground checking for a pulse, he had to see if for himself. It was there and Rossi felt hope once again. His kid still had a chance to live. 

Reid was holding on to life by a thread, but he was alive after all this time, he was fighting to live and he had to make it. 

Rossi death glared at every single cop on the scene. “Why didn’t any of you fuckers check for a pulse? How can you be so goddamn stupid to not check for a pulse, you absolute morons.” 

Emily recovered first from the shock and began radioing for a helicopter to get them to a hospital. “Helicopter is on its way. They say there’s a clear patch from the trees a mile away north and they can meet us there. It's faster than going back to the main road.” She informed them after a few moments. 

Hotch picked Reid up bridal style and blocked his brain from thinking about how unresponsive the man he was carrying was. He was determined to get his kid to safety whatever it took. “I got him. Lead the way.” He told Emily. 

Rossi spoke up. “Aaron, I’m taking JJ and Morgan back to the main road and we will meet you at the hospital. We can’t all ride with you.” 

Hotch nodded. “I’ll make sure he makes it.” He began following Emily through the forest, ignoring how his feet were hurting and his arms were aching. He kept walking. “Hold on Reid. We got you, you’re going to be okay.” 

__________

“Doctor Spencer Reid shows clear signs of malnutrition and dehydration, as well as blunt force trauma to his head, arms, legs and ribs. We did a urine test and there’s faint traces of diacetylmorphine in his system, better known as heroin. The exact dose of what he was given is unknown since it's been too many days from when he was dosed. Additionally, he was treated for hypothermia and a dislocated shoulder.” The doctor explained to the team of agents, after Hotch cleared them to be able to hear Reid’s condition since he was his proxy, and they were also family. 

The team had been in the waiting room for over 6 hours. Hotch, Emily and Reid arrived at the hospital in record time with the helicopter and Reid was immediately taken away so the doctors could work on saving him. His heart crashed once on their way there, but the paramedics managed to stabilise him. 

From then on it was all waiting for news. Rossi, JJ, Morgan and Garcia joined them soon after. Garcia was a crying mess, hugging onto Morgan half the time. Rossi was calmer than the rest, he had total conviction and hope that the younger agent would pull through. They had found him alive against all odds, it was only fair that he made it now. 

“Is he going to be okay?” JJ asked, keeping her voice from wavering. 

“We don’t know the effects this will have on him, but he will live. He is resting now but should be waking up in the next hour or so. We have him hooked to a saline drip to keep him hydrated and make sure to treat his malnutrition. He is in a rough shape, but rest is the best thing for him for now on.” The doctor told them; she gave them a warm smile. “He is a fighter, not many people would have made it if they were in his situation.”

Morgan smiled and looked down. “Reid is tougher than people give him credit for.” He agreed. 

“How did he even make it?” Garcia asked, cleaning away her tears with her hand. 

“From his medical file and what Agent Hotch told me about his history, my guess is that because of his past Dilaudid addiction, he had some tolerance to the drug he was given, and the dose that was supposed to kill him didn’t. From then on, I can only guess, but it appears the killer left him for dead in the woods and he must have woken up and tried to find his way out of there, hence the scratches from his face and arms.” She told them. “I have to check on other patients, I’ll tell a nurse to let you know as soon as he wakes up.” 

_______

“Excuse me, family of Spencer Reid?” a nurse interrupted the team. Hotch had fallen asleep on a chair, as did Emily and Rossi. Garcia, Morgan and JJ were still living off coffee but the other three seemed to need the rest. 

The three who were sleeping woke up and everyone listened intently to whatever news the nurse was going to give them. 

“Mr. Reid has woken up; you can go see him now. Usually only two people can go at a time, but the doctor has explained your situation, for this one time you can all go see him.”

They didn’t care that the nurse forgot he wasn’t Mr. Reid but Doctor Reid. They were too happy to hear he was okay, and they could see him now to correct her. 

They all hurried over to his hospital room. When they walked in, they all stood there staring at him as if they couldn’t quite believe Reid was there with them, alive. 

Reid had his eyes closed but he was awake if the hand tapping was anything to go by. He looked okay, considering his past ten days. He was still pale, skinnier than usual and had a few shallow cuts on his face and arms, probably from branches or twigs. Yet he looked okay, he was  _ alive.  _ That’s what mattered to them. 

Reid must have heard them because he opened his eyes and found his whole team, his family, staring at him with teary eyes and soft smiles. 

Before he could wave at them Hotch walked towards him and engulfed him in the biggest hug he had ever gotten. Hotch needed to reassure himself Reid was fine. He was alive. He kept repeating it in his head and held tighter. 

Reid was startled for a moment before hugging back. “Oh, we’re doing hugs now, yea I like hugs.” He sensed Hotch  _ needed  _ the hug, so he closed his eyes and didn’t let go of the hug until Hotch was ready. 

He had been awake for a few minutes before the team showed up and from what he had gathered, his team had gone through hell this past few days. All of them were going to need time to heal. 

When they thought Emily had died it took them a while to adjust to having her back again. As if she wasn’t real. It was going to be the same with him now. To be honest with himself, he couldn’t believe he was alive either. The past few days were a blur of pain and cold, hunger and thirst and overall agony. 

Hotch finally let go of the hug and Reid didn’t mention how Hotch’s eyes were red brimmed with tears. 

JJ gave him a hug next, and held onto his hand, not wanting to fully let him go. She felt as if she let go, he would disappear. “I’m glad you’re okay, Spence.” She croaked and gave him another hug. 

Garcia began crying again and Reid opened up his arms, ignoring the protests from his limbs. He wasn’t much of a hugger but today he could make an exception. Besides, this was his family, so he didn’t mind the hugs at all. 

Rossi gave him a huge kiss on his forehead, then hugged him tight for a few seconds before taking a step back and looking at him. “You’re not allowed to scare us like that again.” He said seriously. 

“I won’t.” Reid couldn’t promise such a thing but now everyone needed comfort, so he wasn’t going to dive into the semantics of it. 

Morgan was staring at him as if he saw a ghost. He still had the vivid vision of Reid looking lifeless on the cold ground, his pale skin contrasting the vivid greens of the leaves. He was still trying to convince himself he was there. 

Reid noticed. “Morgan, I’m alive, it’s okay.”

Morgan blinked a few times and tensed his face. “I thought… you looked dead, kid… I saw you...” he tried to form a sentence but couldn’t. 

“I know, but I’m not dead. I’m alive. You guys saved me.” He smiled tiredly. He saw Morgan was still indecisive to what to do so Reid decided for him, he signalled him to come towards him. 

Morgan didn’t miss a beat when he sprang towards him and gave him another crushing hug. After a minute he stopped hugging him but didn’t let him go, instead, he sat next to him on the hospital bed and loosely put his arm around him. 

Emily gave him a quick hug. She has had too many emotions the last few days and she wasn’t really one to deal with them, so she tried to joke the pain away. “Welcome to the club of coming back from the dead.”

Everyone but Reid and she started complaining how it was too soon and she should not have said that, but Reid laughed with the type of laugh that made his eyes crinkle, so it was worth it. 

“Technically, this would be my second time coming back. So, if we’re being accurate, I have one up on you from dying.”

“Kid, it’s not a competition.”

Emily grinned and winked at Reid before turning to Rossi. “Yes, it is” She said in the most serious voice she could muster, everyone knew she was joking. 

Rossi shook his head but smiled. His kids could get on his nerves sometimes, but he couldn’t be happier, he missed this. 

“How long was I gone?” Reid asked. With his genius, eidetic memory it didn’t occur to him to ask that before. 

“Ten days.” Hotch said gravely. 

“Sorry, kiddo, you missed your birthday.” Rossi said sympathetically. 

Reid was quiet for a few seconds, calculating the days he was gone to see what day it was today. He realized the date and he visibly slumped and pouted. “I missed Halloween.”

They all laughed because of course Reid would be more worried about missing Halloween than anything else. It was such a Reid thing to do. They felt the ambience of the room lighter, they hadn’t laughed or felt any positive emotions since Reid was taken. It was nice to feel happy again. 

“Don’t worry, we will celebrate Halloween later. Hell, we can celebrate Halloween the rest of the year if you want.” Rossi patted him on the cheek. “We missed you, it’s good to have you back.”

**Author's Note:**

> I finished writing this at 6am this morning and im running on no sleep, yet I made it. I finished Whumptober! All 31 prompts done before the end of the month. Thanks to everyone who read and commented on my fics, they served as fuel and motivation to write. 
> 
> I actually surprised myself from how sad I made in in certain scenes, this wasn't originally going to be that angsty hehe. 
> 
> Thanks so much to [AppalachianApologies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppalachianApologies/pseuds/AppalachianApologies) for hyping me up and motivating me for whumptober and keeping me interested every day with her fics! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr: [BrightTerror](https://brightterror.tumblr.com/)


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